Buy land, they have quit making it!

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Definition of a Dance: A navel engagement without the loss of semen.

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Don't breed them if you can't feed them

Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer

Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS

Dont steal, the government hates competition

Earn easy cash in your spare time by blackmailing friends.

Equality!! If men and women were created equal, a judge in capitol crime cases would have to make sure that women were h

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils

Everytime I see ur face. I wish I was in outer space :P

Excerceise and Diet... But you still Die.

Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes